ourbrainhurts

In reading this Atlantic article, I couldn’t help think of the emergent church:

More damning is the conclusion produced by a careful reading of this often fine-grained semi-sociological analysis: a good deal of the progressives’ attitudes, preferences, and sense of identity are ingrained in an unlovely disdain for those outside their charmed circle… [M]uch of their self-satisfaction derives from consumption—and much [it] is motivated by a desire to differentiate themselves from the benighted. Sushi, for instance, is ‘everything [White People] want: foreign culture, expensive, healthy, and hated by the “uneducated.” ’ And whatever its goals, the ACLU is beloved by White People, … because it protects them ‘from having to look at things they don’t like. At the top of this list is anything that has to do with Christianity’—an aversion … rooted not in religious enmity but in taste (Christianity is ‘a little trashy’), formed largely by class and education.

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said “Stop! Don’t do it!”

“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.

I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!”

He said, “Like what?”

I said, “Well…are you religious or atheist?”

He said, “Religious.”

I said, “Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?”

He said, “Christian.”

I said, “Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?”

He said, “Protestant.”

I said, “Me too! Are you Presbyterian or Baptist?”

He said, “Presbyterian!”

I said, “Wow! Me too! Are you a conservative Presbyterian or mainline Presbyterian?”

He said, “Conservative Presbyterian!”

I said, “Me too! Are you presuppositional, or are you evidential?”

He said, “Presuppositional!”

I said, “Me too! Are you a theonomic, or a non-theonomic?”

He said, “Theonomic!”

I said, “Me too! Are you a sabbatarian, or a non-sabbatarian?”

He said, “Sabbatarian!”

I said, “Me too! Are you a psalm-singer, or a hymn-singer?”

He said, “Hymn-singer!”

I said, “Die, heretic scum!” And pushed him off.

(with apologies to Emo Philips)